Mystic identity issues

I have been wondering what to call myself, and better yet, what group i belong in, as i can't figure it out
Not in a group in a religious sense but a spiritual one.

I think i am going through an identity crisis.

Any ideas?

I am to old for this.
I should be more powerful at this point.
Not a dark sided amateur.

I really hate this.
*sigh*

-Bump-

Maybe you're interested in some of the books on this list: https://www.thoughtco.c ... -men-2562620
There are other books on the subject of men in Paganism, or the male side of Paganism, the God, et cetera. But the Bonewits book is the first one I would recommend too.
(I read your introduction, and I think you may explore these books before you decide what to name yourself).

And 31 does not strike me as 'too old' for anything. But then, power is not my motivation to be involved in Paganism, Wicca or magic.

I have looked though the list, but i am mainly looking for a book that does not go on and on about "feminine energy" or the "divine feminine", or the goddess, but just magic.
The technical aspects of magic, not the neopagan religious content.

Its shameful that there is a book for men called "sons of the Goddess" but no "daughters of the God".

It is like most groups in Wicca wants to replace the patriarchy in religion with a matriarchy that demotes men to servants.
That is what i see.

I am looking for a spiritual path, not a religious one.

Well i can not think of any other reason to get involved in magic, Paganism is a bit to diverse so i can't say i dislike them all, but Wicca is way to matrifocal.

No offence.

I am not stating a fact, just what i have seen so far.
I mean i would prefer a teacher who does not care what ones gender or sex is, just focused on the MAGIC.

Ps: I don't want to go on and on about this but i keep running into the same problem. [Smile]

Hallo Kono,

Have you considered changing your perspective? It seems to me that you keep making assumptions which are often not correct.

I know that you have had problems in the past with overbearing, manipulative women. Abuse in any form should not be tolerated.
However as Neelie Kroes said in a recent news show on Dutch TV, people seeking 'power-over', being abusive etc are present in every culture and in every age.

The question is how do we deal with abusive behaviour? How do we regain our self-esteem? And heal ourselves and those we know who have been hurt and harmed.

The tenet "An it harm none, do what you will" was an instruction for magical work.
It has become the Golden Rule of Wicca.

Ultimately the proof of the sincerity of any religion, philosophy or lifestyle must, in my opinion, be tested against the Golden Rule, or the Guiding Principle.
The best known in our Christian influenced world is
"Do to others as you would have them do to you."

And where do you start if you want to follow this sincerely, right - with yourself. Only you can change yourself. And accept personal responsibility.

"The devil made me do it" - no... you did it all by yourself!

Bright blessings,
Morgana

Well to be honest i often get the feeling the issue is being ignored by simply saying there is no problem and everything is fine the way...

If it is my perspective i am really looking in the wrong places but everywhere i look i see the same thing, so i would speak of observations rather than assumptions.
But matbe i am wrong, i am not flawless...

I hope so.

I have no idea, i believe regaining my power is the first priority and aftet that it will be easy to do healing magick, if i can figure out how that works that is.

I do not follow the Wiccan Rede since i am not Wiccan, and i do not think i will ever be, since its like oil and i am like water.

Not that i will harm anybody on the physical plane that is.

I am looking source of inspiration and ideas to enhance my nagical abilities that is not focused on women, as in "feminine energy", since i do not have any.
I am not a genderfluid after all. [Smile]

Kono.

Ps: My pull to the dark side is also increasing more and more.

I feel more comfortable with darker magic, involving dark symbols, fire energy instead of the water energy i used as a child.

Just to give you an idea:
When i try to meditate i see myself as a male Liliana Vess of some kind, drawn to selfish and dominant energy. Almost... Demonic...

Not to opress but to make sure i am never subservient

I mean i use the profile picture i have for a reason. [Smile]

And my aura keeps changing color.
No idea what that means.
I am a Mystic and not a druid or a shaman.

Hi Kono!

Have you considered looking into the Brotherhood of the Stag and Wolf? https://www.facebook.com/BrotherhoodOfTheStagWolf/

They work the masculine energy and center themselves in the ethics of the God.

I discover them in an article in The Wild Hunt: Seeking a better definition: Pagans explore manhood http://wildhunt.org/201 ... manhood.html

I was impressed and amazed with this kind of project and I would recommend it to anyone seeking the path of "malehood" in a Pagan way.

Check it and tell me what you think [Smile]

Blessings*

Hi Alva,

I am going to read it just out of curiosity but why would i need a god for magic? I am looking for a way to enhance my magical abilities, not a deity to serve, i think i mentioned that here.

Sorry if i wasn't clear on that, and if you overlooked it i won't blame you as it happens to me all the time. [Wink]

Funny, i am nagging about a pagan source aimed at men, but when i find it i feel more alienated than ever. [Embarassed]

*sighs*
Well at least it exists.
Thank you. Young priestess. [Smile]

Than again i am hardly a stereotypical manly man, and i am tired of pretending to be, though i do LOOK the part at first glance.

May the sun wash your hair gold.

Magic is the belief that rituals and enchantments can summon supernatural forces to influence the natural forces. Through history, people have used magical items, and formulae for such means, and they all "work" because of the invocation of some supernatural being, be it an angel, or a demon in Renaissance magic, or a god or a goddess for Romans and Greeks. The final aim was to "work a miracle".
Late magical systems unlinked to religion or spiritual paths were developed, like the Chaos Magik. You might want to look into that.

At the risk of becoming unpopular, I dare give a piece of advice that might sound judgy but is definitely given with love, respect, and understanding (everyone has a different POV). The practice of magic (in its widest interpretation) has rarely satisfied any human soul in the search of "something more", and all those that seek to solve their problems or feel set aside (Superior? Special? Different? Pick anything) from the mass by the adoption of these systems, end up disillusioned. or worse in some delusional state.
Before even thinking of approaching "magic", that is to make miracles happen, one should build a solid faith, (daily) religious/spiritual practice, and grow in it. So yes, eventually one must pray, believe, and practice a religion or a spiritual path that usually involves one or more Gods/Goddesses, and there is a plethora of them, so pick one and do your research.

I based my observations n the fact that the Jewish mysticism, the Kabbalah, (that is a form of magic if you follow my definition) is traditionally approached by men over 40, with a solid faith. Sufism if on the same line, and so are all the mayor Roman and Greek mystery schools, and even philosophers who did not adopt a specific religion (e.g. Neoplatonism of Iamblichus).
If you want to just practice magic without any connection to any God, be my guest, there are resources (I gave you one, start your research from there) but in a forum dedicated to paganism (=religion or spiritual path) I would normally expect more talking about gods and goddesses, and less about atheistic magic, so it comes to no surprise that you have complaints about the answers you did (not) receive.

Good luck in your quest.